Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
