YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Randomize
