If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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