Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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