Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
