im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize
