he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
