Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
