You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize