and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
