Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
