I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Randomize
