when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
