I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
