My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Randomize
