Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Randomize
