i dedicated my morning wood to you.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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