it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
