im gay
i know
yea but for you.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
