why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Randomize
