An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
