4 words: hood of his car
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
