we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
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