I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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