hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
