Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
