party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
