Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
