do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
