Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
