Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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