She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
