I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
