so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
