I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Just high enough for therapy.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
