that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
