It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
vagina is talking i cant
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
