you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
