ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Hippo gnu deer
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
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