The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
