careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
