somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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