I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
