i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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