Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
