Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
