My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
