She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Randomize
