In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
