Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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