walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
