Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
