I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I enjoy the company of your penis
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
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