found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Blow job season was short but glorious.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
