Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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