i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Your dad touched me again.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize