Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
