I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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