I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
