I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize
