cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
